my belladona trip

once apon a time I took aslot a nightshade, like 3 grams, I used to take alot like half a gram often and said I had a cold, but this time I dreamed I took my dog out, and he was gone, and I was tripping over stuff in the garage, and I got stuck and my flashlight wouldnt work. now I dont know how I goty out of the garage, or if it was just a dream, but I found my dog waiting to come in I think, cus Ive found him there other times it may be some lie in my mind.

an unsent email to a (non)stalker)

Id confess if I dint think it would hurt you, (or thought it would help) Id ask what do you teach? you seam to be a sunday school teacher, you know I used to be one too, or an assistant and when I asked to teach the other teacher didn't think that I was sincere, and then the self proclaimed director came and told me that I cant have my autistic student try the other class, even though he was to be alone in mine. And then at the other church I asked a wonderful teacher, who said that I ought to ask the other teacher, who told me theres no room for me even in vbs, which I found out was asking teenagers w/o experience to volunteer.

now I'm recovering thinking that I cant handle another fall. but trying to try, learning to generalize private things

my 2010 summer lesson

I have a friend, I was sitting with her at church, vecation bible school was happenening and I had asked to help, got relly depressed by being turned down by a person I should never have asked, and overdosed a bit that week or so, the sunday after I saw vbs speacial of sorts and refused to sit with her, I knew that if I did I would never want to leave that church and I knew that I would need to soon, as I knew I shouldeve probably praior, but ^^ I got what I prayed for, healing, though knowone knows maybe from what, and Im at a limbo ATM, afraid of being lifted only to fall down so veery far, though. my limbo state is in love, ^^ it is, so everythings okay.^^ BTW I saw her recently, I really dont want to confront it though.

what I learned from that church, one, never give your age, 2, get addresses, 3: if they find out your gender, find out if theyre okay with it.